WHY
Why does love not
die and bleed away
when hearts break
and tears fall?
Why does life not
end when sorrow
drowns the spirit
and hope dies?
Why does the memory
of pain live on to bring
suffering to those who
would prefer to forget?
Brittany Kingston
© March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Tree Friends
The Tree Friends
By: Brittany Kingston
© February 2006
Don’t look at me. Go straight past. Don’t see me. Don’t look at me. Go straight past. Sarah only glanced up after the attendants had dragged the newcomer through the common room and along the passage to the vacant room across from hers.
Old Napoleon cackled and swished his tongue around his toothless lips. “New friend for you, luv.”
Sarah slid into the chair opposite him. “Is she mad, Leo?”
“She sure ain’t happy,” he laughed. He cocked his head to one side and closed an eye in concentration. “No, luv, she ain’t crazy. When she shakes off those meds, you go talk to her. I think you might have a lot in common.”
Old doubts and insecurities crowded in on her. “Maybe she’ll think I’m crazy.”
“Only one way to find out.” He studied her for a lucid moment before his eyes took on that familiar far-away look. “Man those cannons lads! Nelson’s on his way.”
Nurse Cawley and an attendant raced over to make sure Napoleon wasn’t about to set sail on another battle raid.
Sarah slipped outside and ran down to the big oak tree at the far end of the garden. It was spring again and bulbs were bursting from the ground in carnivals of colour and scents. Sarah inhaled their beauty and wished she could grow wings like the bees that visited the pretty blooms.
“Another year gone.”
She knew that quiet voice and smiled as she turned to find Jamie sitting on the lowest branch of the tree. He donned a face-splitting grin and jumped down.
“You’re back!” She embraced him.
“Yes, but you’re the one who’s been gone a long time.”
Sarah stared down at her feet fighting shame, guilt, fear. He was right. She hadn’t visited. “After you left, there was a security lock-down. Everyone had to do therapy.”
“I hope you told them all kinds of weird stuff.”
She gazed into his deep green eyes, thankful not to see any resentment in them. “You know I’d never do that.”
He sat down with his back against the tree and patted the ground for her to join him.
As she snuggled into his embrace, Sarah breathed in the fresh, earthy scent of him. “Where do you go when its cold, Jamie?”
“Nowhere. I just stay inside until it gets warmer.”
She swivelled her head to see his face. “Do you like being Jamie?”
“Sure. Unless you want me to be someone else.”
“I like you as Jamie, for now.” Sarah nestled her head against his shoulder. “Tell me about the things you’ve seen. I love hearing your stories.”
Sarah could listen to his quiet, musical voice all day. In fact, she hadn’t realised how long she’d been with him until the dinner gong rang out into the still evening air.
“See you tomorrow, Jamie.” She waved and raced back towards the old bluestone building hoping to enter through the kitchen unseen. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain to Nurse Cawley where she’d been and why she’d missed lunch. Cawley was one of the nicer ones, but if you said anything interesting she’d report it to the shrinks.
The coast was clear. Sarah slipped into the dining room and took her place at one of the window tables. She focussed her attention on the table cloth and waited.
“Sarah?”
She glanced up to find David standing with his hands on the newcomer’s shoulders.
“Sarah, this is Fleur. I was hoping the two of you might like to meet.”
David the attendant was a bit like Cawley. He was okay unless you said or did anything out of the ordinary, then he’d go running to the shrinks to tell tales.
“Hi Fleur.”
“Hi Sarah.”
Fleur sank onto the chair and David left. The meal was served and they ate in silence, eyes down, hair concealing their faces.
“Sarah?”
She looked across at Fleur’s thin, mousy features. “Yes?”
“Been here long?”
Sarah nodded. “I don’t remember being anywhere else.”
Fleur’s features saddened and it looked like she was about to cry.
Sarah felt a pang of sympathy. She knew what it was like to be abandoned in a strange place where most of the people were old and everybody did strange things. “It’s not so bad here, Fleur. Really. I like living here.”
The girl looked at her with large, dark eyes. A spark of hope momentarily lit them and she managed the flicker of a smile.
Sarah smiled back, then glanced around nervously. Don’t see me. Don’t look. “Just remember, keep your head down and keep quiet. That way you can pretty much go where you like and do what you want in your free time.”
Fleur nodded and they finished their desserts without speaking again.
The next morning, a very different Fleur made her way across the common room to where Sarah sat with old Napoleon. The meds had worn off and she was more alive. There was no sign of the fear and uncertainty of the day before.
“Hi Sarah.”
“Hi.” Don’t make them notice me. Don’t look at me. Don’t see me.
Sarah introduced Fleur to Napoleon and watched as the two of them talked and laughed like they’d known each other all their lives. Leo was lucid. He was fun whenever he had a straight day.
When Sarah thought they’d forgotten she was there, she made her way outside and ran down to the tree to see Jamie. They sat together with their backs against the strong trunk and soaked up the energy emanating from within it. Eventually, Sarah felt safe enough to tell Jamie about the newcomer, Fleur.
“She sounds nice. Maybe I could meet her some time.”
Sarah looked down at the ground and mumbled, “Maybe.” She hadn’t told anyone about Jamie. It was too dangerous. Every time she made new friends, the shrinks made them leave. It wasn’t fair. Well, this time she was playing it smart. Jamie was a secret. Maybe if she didn’t tell anyone Fleur was her friend, she’d be able to keep her too. “I’d better go. It’s almost lunch time.” She waved and went back up to see if Fleur would sit with her.
While they were eating, Sarah dredged up enough courage to ask, “Why did they bring you here?”
Fleur shifted a pile of beans around the plate with her fork. “I got mixed up with some guys who were into the whole drug scene. I didn’t get hooked, but my folks went berko and sent me in here to get my head straightened out. How about you?”
“Something like that.” Sarah kept her head down and ate everything on her plate. Don’t draw attention. Be good. Don’t be noticed.
Group therapy in the afternoon was monopolised by Fleur who kept making everybody laugh with her silly comments. To Sarah’s surprise, Counsellor Green didn’t send her to her room.
Sarah told Fleur later, “You’d better be careful. Green tells the shrinks everything. You’ll get a black mark on your record.”
“I’m not afraid of them. I just tell them what they want to hear. It doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll be out of here soon.”
Sarah stared down at her scuffed shoes. She’d only just met Fleur and already the shrinks were thinking about making her leave. She sighed and walked outside. When she was sure no-one was watching, she went to visit Jamie.
He greeted her with his usual grin. “What’s wrong?”
“I was just getting to like Fleur, but I think the shrinks are going to send her away.”
“You know that not everybody can stay here like you and me.” He gestured toward the high stone wall with the razor wire looped along the top of it. “They’re not like us. They have lives. They go back out there and disappear.”
“I know.” Sarah smiled. “Sometimes I just wish I could have more friends, that’s all.”
Jamie laughed out loud and spun around in circles with his arms held out straight from his shoulders. “You could have all the friends you want.” He stopped spinning and hugged the tree. “Right here.”
Sarah gazed up through the branches and new spring leaves to the small platform that held her secret treasure. She smiled. “You’re right. I could have all the friends I want, right here.”
The dinner gong sounded reminding her of the time.
“I’d better go,” she grinned. Jamie always knew how to make her feel better. That was why she kept him to herself. They were friends and no-one could make him leave.
Sarah was confused when Fleur sat with the rest of their therapy group for dinner. She glanced over and Fleur waved to her.
“Come and join us.”
Horrified, Sarah shook her head and stared at the meal she no longer had the appetite for. Don’t look at me. Don’t see me. She watched them – whenever she was sure nobody noticed. They talked, laughed. Everybody liked Fleur. She was everybody’s friend. Not like Jamie. Jamie was her friend, nobody else’s. Maybe Jamie was right. Maybe she could introduce Fleur to him. Then the three of them could be friends together. That would be good. It could be their secret.
The next day was taken up by individual therapy in the morning and group activities after lunch. It was mid-afternoon by the time Sarah had a chance to wander down to the far end of the garden.
“Jamie?” Sarah walked around the tree, but for once, Jamie didn’t appear. “It’s me.” She peered up through the branches to see if he was hiding, waiting to pounce down and give her a fright.
“What are you doing?”
Sarah spun around to find Fleur watching her.
“Who’s Jamie?” Fleur looked past her.
“Um, a friend. Sometimes he meets me here.”
“Really?” Fleur’s eyes lit up. “You have a secret lover?”
“No. It’s not like that. We’re just friends. We talk. That’s all.”
Fleur’s features arranged themselves into an unimpressed expression. “Oh. I see.” She peered all around and up into the tree. After a moment’s thought, a slow smile spread across her face. “I think you’re really lucky to have a secret friend. I wish I had one. Do you think I could meet Jamie? It would be so cool.”
Sarah was suddenly uncertain in the face of Fleur’s enthusiasm. She’d been hoping to introduce her to Jamie, but now she thought it might not be safe. Fleur might blab. “You do know that this is a secret, don’t you Fleur?”
“Absolutely.” She straightened, licked her forefinger and drew an ‘x’ across her chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” She smiled in a reassuring way. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. Honest. It’ll be our secret. Okay?”
Sarah smiled. “Okay.”
“Boo!”
The two girls squealed and jumped as Jamie landed between them.
“That wasn’t fair.” Fleur laughed and held her hand out. “You must be Jamie.”
He took her hand and kissed the back of it. “And you, my dear, must be the Lady Fleur.”
She curtseyed. “Fleur by name, fleur by nature. I’m very pleased to meet you.”
All three of them laughed.
Sarah spent the rest of the afternoon listening to Fleur and Jamie talk about the outside. They seemed to have a great deal in common and they’d both travelled to other countries. She was fascinated by their comparisons of the places they’d both seen. The way they talked about them, made Sarah feel like she’d seen them too.
They talked and laughed until the dinner gong sounded making the girls race breathlessly back to ‘the big house’ as Fleur liked to call it.
It was two days before Sarah had another free afternoon. She looked everywhere but couldn’t find Fleur so she went down to the oak tree alone.
As she drew near, she heard voices. Her heart pounded so loud she was sure they would hear it. Quietly, she walked around the tree to see who had invaded her secret place.
Fleur was sitting on Jamie’s lap with her arms around his neck, kissing him. She laughed and rose. “Come on. You can kiss him too, if you like.”
Sarah shook her head, relieved it was only them.
Fleur walked over and took hold of her hand. “Come and watch.”
Sarah glanced at Jamie. He patted the ground beside him. Smiling, she joined them. Fleur tried to persuade her to kiss Jamie, but she preferred not to.
Afterwards, they sat and talked, and Fleur told jokes that made them laugh.
The next couple of weeks were spent like that. Every spare moment she and Fleur had, they visited Jamie. Sarah felt happier than she’d ever been. Then one afternoon, Fleur told her she was getting a visit from her parents. She didn’t seem pleased.
“Don’t you want to see them?”
“Yes. I guess they mean well, but they can be a pain.”
Sarah studied the once plush carpet on the common room floor. She didn’t want to remember her own parents. She’d sent them away a long time ago.
Fleur got ready for her visitors and Sarah went to visit Jamie.
“Do you think they’ll make her leave?” she asked him.
“They might.” His eyes were sad. “Do you want her to leave?”
“No. I wish she could stay forever, like you.”
“So do I.”
It wasn’t long before they heard someone approaching. Jamie disappeared up the tree and Sarah waited to see who it was.
“It’s only me.” Fleur sat beside her. “Is Jamie here?”
No sooner had she spoken, than he landed beside them, grinning. “Am I ever anywhere else?” He sat between them with his arms draped across their shoulders. “How did it go with your parents, Fleur?”
“Great... I guess. They’re taking me home tomorrow. Apparently I’m cured. I got a good report from the shrinks.”
Sarah felt like her heart had been ripped out. “Don’t you want to stay and be our friend?”
“Sure, but I have to leave some time.” She smiled at Sarah. “Don’t worry. I’ll visit.”
“But you won’t be here every day.”
“Bummer, eh?”
“Yeah.”
“I can bring great things in for you, though. Would you like that?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t be sad, Sarah. We three will always be friends. Won’t we Jamie?”
“Sure we will.”
Sarah rose and looked down at them for a moment, a loving calm driving the sadness away. “Let’s make it official, then. We’ll make a pact to always be friends.” She stared into Fleur’s eyes. “Do you want to take the sacred oath?”
Fleur scrambled to her feet. “What do I have to do?”
“You have to follow Jamie and I up the tree. You can’t see it from here, but there’s a platform high up in the branches. That’s our secret place. It’s safe up there. We can go up and swear the oath and prick our thumbs to mix our blood. We’ll be blood friends. Do you want to? You can’t just say it. It has to be in your heart.”
Fleur’s smile broadened. “Let’s do it.”
Jamie began to climb and Fleur followed. Sarah watched for a moment, then climbed after them.
When they reached the top fork in the main trunk, they made themselves comfortable on the raft of planks. Sarah moved the heavy roll of tarp out of the way and sat on it so it wouldn’t open to reveal the treasure within. She smiled knowing she’d soon have another treasure to wrap up in there. She took her carving knife from a knot hole and pricked her left thumb with it. Then she handed the knife to Fleur.
Fleur pricked her left thumb and offered the knife to Jamie.
Sarah grabbed it. “Jamie’s already sworn. You and I have to do it.” She took Fleur’s hand and pressed their thumbs together until the bleeding stopped. She placed her right hand over her heart. “I, Sarah, solemnly swear to be your friend forever and to meet you here at our sacred tree.” She smiled at Fleur. “Now you say exactly what I did.”
Fleur placed her hand over her heart and spoke the words.
“Now, close your eyes and hold Jamie’s hands and I’ll make you our special friend forever.”
Fleur closed her eyes.
Sarah grinned.
After Fleur left there was a security lock-down and nobody was able to go outside or anywhere without supervision. The alarm systems were reprogrammed, extra cameras were mounted and even the razor wire around the fence was renewed.
Sarah stared through the common room window and wished she could go out into the garden again. It was lonely up at the big house now. The only one she could really talk to was Napoleon and he’d had few lucid days since Fleur’s departure.
By the time life settled back into its routine of eating, sleeping, therapy and craft activities, Fleur had been gone a whole month. Sarah didn’t mind, though. She had her secret, and her treasure. It was just a pain that she had to wait so long before being allowed to wander around alone again.
She’d even made an effort to get to know the newcomer, Ryan. They’d put him in Fleur’s room. He was handsome, but he was shy. Sarah decided she liked him almost as much as she liked Jamie and Fleur. Perhaps, if Ryan could be trusted, she could introduce him to the others.
That afternoon, while Napoleon fought the Battle of Britain against Attila the Hun, Sarah slipped outside and ran down to the oak tree.
Jamie greeted her with a hug and his usual grin. “Miss me?”
“Of course.” Sarah laughed. “It’s great to have some freedom again.”
Fleur peered around the trunk of the tree.
“When did you get here?” Sarah ran to hug her.
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re all together.”
Sarah looked them up and down. “I’ve decided on new names. You can be Jason,” she said to Jamie. “And you can be Jenny. What do you think?”
“Jason.” Jamie stroked an imaginary beard. “Dignified. I like it. Jason I am.”
“Jenny’s nice,” said Fleur.
Sarah smiled. It was great to have secret friends. The shrinks couldn’t make them leave if they didn’t know about them. No-one could make Jason and Jenny leave. They were hers for as long as the tree concealed the tarp and the treasures that lay hidden within.
For the rest of the afternoon they sat, talked, and laughed. Then Sarah told them about the newcomer, Ryan.
The End
By: Brittany Kingston
© February 2006
Don’t look at me. Go straight past. Don’t see me. Don’t look at me. Go straight past. Sarah only glanced up after the attendants had dragged the newcomer through the common room and along the passage to the vacant room across from hers.
Old Napoleon cackled and swished his tongue around his toothless lips. “New friend for you, luv.”
Sarah slid into the chair opposite him. “Is she mad, Leo?”
“She sure ain’t happy,” he laughed. He cocked his head to one side and closed an eye in concentration. “No, luv, she ain’t crazy. When she shakes off those meds, you go talk to her. I think you might have a lot in common.”
Old doubts and insecurities crowded in on her. “Maybe she’ll think I’m crazy.”
“Only one way to find out.” He studied her for a lucid moment before his eyes took on that familiar far-away look. “Man those cannons lads! Nelson’s on his way.”
Nurse Cawley and an attendant raced over to make sure Napoleon wasn’t about to set sail on another battle raid.
Sarah slipped outside and ran down to the big oak tree at the far end of the garden. It was spring again and bulbs were bursting from the ground in carnivals of colour and scents. Sarah inhaled their beauty and wished she could grow wings like the bees that visited the pretty blooms.
“Another year gone.”
She knew that quiet voice and smiled as she turned to find Jamie sitting on the lowest branch of the tree. He donned a face-splitting grin and jumped down.
“You’re back!” She embraced him.
“Yes, but you’re the one who’s been gone a long time.”
Sarah stared down at her feet fighting shame, guilt, fear. He was right. She hadn’t visited. “After you left, there was a security lock-down. Everyone had to do therapy.”
“I hope you told them all kinds of weird stuff.”
She gazed into his deep green eyes, thankful not to see any resentment in them. “You know I’d never do that.”
He sat down with his back against the tree and patted the ground for her to join him.
As she snuggled into his embrace, Sarah breathed in the fresh, earthy scent of him. “Where do you go when its cold, Jamie?”
“Nowhere. I just stay inside until it gets warmer.”
She swivelled her head to see his face. “Do you like being Jamie?”
“Sure. Unless you want me to be someone else.”
“I like you as Jamie, for now.” Sarah nestled her head against his shoulder. “Tell me about the things you’ve seen. I love hearing your stories.”
Sarah could listen to his quiet, musical voice all day. In fact, she hadn’t realised how long she’d been with him until the dinner gong rang out into the still evening air.
“See you tomorrow, Jamie.” She waved and raced back towards the old bluestone building hoping to enter through the kitchen unseen. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain to Nurse Cawley where she’d been and why she’d missed lunch. Cawley was one of the nicer ones, but if you said anything interesting she’d report it to the shrinks.
The coast was clear. Sarah slipped into the dining room and took her place at one of the window tables. She focussed her attention on the table cloth and waited.
“Sarah?”
She glanced up to find David standing with his hands on the newcomer’s shoulders.
“Sarah, this is Fleur. I was hoping the two of you might like to meet.”
David the attendant was a bit like Cawley. He was okay unless you said or did anything out of the ordinary, then he’d go running to the shrinks to tell tales.
“Hi Fleur.”
“Hi Sarah.”
Fleur sank onto the chair and David left. The meal was served and they ate in silence, eyes down, hair concealing their faces.
“Sarah?”
She looked across at Fleur’s thin, mousy features. “Yes?”
“Been here long?”
Sarah nodded. “I don’t remember being anywhere else.”
Fleur’s features saddened and it looked like she was about to cry.
Sarah felt a pang of sympathy. She knew what it was like to be abandoned in a strange place where most of the people were old and everybody did strange things. “It’s not so bad here, Fleur. Really. I like living here.”
The girl looked at her with large, dark eyes. A spark of hope momentarily lit them and she managed the flicker of a smile.
Sarah smiled back, then glanced around nervously. Don’t see me. Don’t look. “Just remember, keep your head down and keep quiet. That way you can pretty much go where you like and do what you want in your free time.”
Fleur nodded and they finished their desserts without speaking again.
The next morning, a very different Fleur made her way across the common room to where Sarah sat with old Napoleon. The meds had worn off and she was more alive. There was no sign of the fear and uncertainty of the day before.
“Hi Sarah.”
“Hi.” Don’t make them notice me. Don’t look at me. Don’t see me.
Sarah introduced Fleur to Napoleon and watched as the two of them talked and laughed like they’d known each other all their lives. Leo was lucid. He was fun whenever he had a straight day.
When Sarah thought they’d forgotten she was there, she made her way outside and ran down to the tree to see Jamie. They sat together with their backs against the strong trunk and soaked up the energy emanating from within it. Eventually, Sarah felt safe enough to tell Jamie about the newcomer, Fleur.
“She sounds nice. Maybe I could meet her some time.”
Sarah looked down at the ground and mumbled, “Maybe.” She hadn’t told anyone about Jamie. It was too dangerous. Every time she made new friends, the shrinks made them leave. It wasn’t fair. Well, this time she was playing it smart. Jamie was a secret. Maybe if she didn’t tell anyone Fleur was her friend, she’d be able to keep her too. “I’d better go. It’s almost lunch time.” She waved and went back up to see if Fleur would sit with her.
While they were eating, Sarah dredged up enough courage to ask, “Why did they bring you here?”
Fleur shifted a pile of beans around the plate with her fork. “I got mixed up with some guys who were into the whole drug scene. I didn’t get hooked, but my folks went berko and sent me in here to get my head straightened out. How about you?”
“Something like that.” Sarah kept her head down and ate everything on her plate. Don’t draw attention. Be good. Don’t be noticed.
Group therapy in the afternoon was monopolised by Fleur who kept making everybody laugh with her silly comments. To Sarah’s surprise, Counsellor Green didn’t send her to her room.
Sarah told Fleur later, “You’d better be careful. Green tells the shrinks everything. You’ll get a black mark on your record.”
“I’m not afraid of them. I just tell them what they want to hear. It doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll be out of here soon.”
Sarah stared down at her scuffed shoes. She’d only just met Fleur and already the shrinks were thinking about making her leave. She sighed and walked outside. When she was sure no-one was watching, she went to visit Jamie.
He greeted her with his usual grin. “What’s wrong?”
“I was just getting to like Fleur, but I think the shrinks are going to send her away.”
“You know that not everybody can stay here like you and me.” He gestured toward the high stone wall with the razor wire looped along the top of it. “They’re not like us. They have lives. They go back out there and disappear.”
“I know.” Sarah smiled. “Sometimes I just wish I could have more friends, that’s all.”
Jamie laughed out loud and spun around in circles with his arms held out straight from his shoulders. “You could have all the friends you want.” He stopped spinning and hugged the tree. “Right here.”
Sarah gazed up through the branches and new spring leaves to the small platform that held her secret treasure. She smiled. “You’re right. I could have all the friends I want, right here.”
The dinner gong sounded reminding her of the time.
“I’d better go,” she grinned. Jamie always knew how to make her feel better. That was why she kept him to herself. They were friends and no-one could make him leave.
Sarah was confused when Fleur sat with the rest of their therapy group for dinner. She glanced over and Fleur waved to her.
“Come and join us.”
Horrified, Sarah shook her head and stared at the meal she no longer had the appetite for. Don’t look at me. Don’t see me. She watched them – whenever she was sure nobody noticed. They talked, laughed. Everybody liked Fleur. She was everybody’s friend. Not like Jamie. Jamie was her friend, nobody else’s. Maybe Jamie was right. Maybe she could introduce Fleur to him. Then the three of them could be friends together. That would be good. It could be their secret.
The next day was taken up by individual therapy in the morning and group activities after lunch. It was mid-afternoon by the time Sarah had a chance to wander down to the far end of the garden.
“Jamie?” Sarah walked around the tree, but for once, Jamie didn’t appear. “It’s me.” She peered up through the branches to see if he was hiding, waiting to pounce down and give her a fright.
“What are you doing?”
Sarah spun around to find Fleur watching her.
“Who’s Jamie?” Fleur looked past her.
“Um, a friend. Sometimes he meets me here.”
“Really?” Fleur’s eyes lit up. “You have a secret lover?”
“No. It’s not like that. We’re just friends. We talk. That’s all.”
Fleur’s features arranged themselves into an unimpressed expression. “Oh. I see.” She peered all around and up into the tree. After a moment’s thought, a slow smile spread across her face. “I think you’re really lucky to have a secret friend. I wish I had one. Do you think I could meet Jamie? It would be so cool.”
Sarah was suddenly uncertain in the face of Fleur’s enthusiasm. She’d been hoping to introduce her to Jamie, but now she thought it might not be safe. Fleur might blab. “You do know that this is a secret, don’t you Fleur?”
“Absolutely.” She straightened, licked her forefinger and drew an ‘x’ across her chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” She smiled in a reassuring way. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. Honest. It’ll be our secret. Okay?”
Sarah smiled. “Okay.”
“Boo!”
The two girls squealed and jumped as Jamie landed between them.
“That wasn’t fair.” Fleur laughed and held her hand out. “You must be Jamie.”
He took her hand and kissed the back of it. “And you, my dear, must be the Lady Fleur.”
She curtseyed. “Fleur by name, fleur by nature. I’m very pleased to meet you.”
All three of them laughed.
Sarah spent the rest of the afternoon listening to Fleur and Jamie talk about the outside. They seemed to have a great deal in common and they’d both travelled to other countries. She was fascinated by their comparisons of the places they’d both seen. The way they talked about them, made Sarah feel like she’d seen them too.
They talked and laughed until the dinner gong sounded making the girls race breathlessly back to ‘the big house’ as Fleur liked to call it.
It was two days before Sarah had another free afternoon. She looked everywhere but couldn’t find Fleur so she went down to the oak tree alone.
As she drew near, she heard voices. Her heart pounded so loud she was sure they would hear it. Quietly, she walked around the tree to see who had invaded her secret place.
Fleur was sitting on Jamie’s lap with her arms around his neck, kissing him. She laughed and rose. “Come on. You can kiss him too, if you like.”
Sarah shook her head, relieved it was only them.
Fleur walked over and took hold of her hand. “Come and watch.”
Sarah glanced at Jamie. He patted the ground beside him. Smiling, she joined them. Fleur tried to persuade her to kiss Jamie, but she preferred not to.
Afterwards, they sat and talked, and Fleur told jokes that made them laugh.
The next couple of weeks were spent like that. Every spare moment she and Fleur had, they visited Jamie. Sarah felt happier than she’d ever been. Then one afternoon, Fleur told her she was getting a visit from her parents. She didn’t seem pleased.
“Don’t you want to see them?”
“Yes. I guess they mean well, but they can be a pain.”
Sarah studied the once plush carpet on the common room floor. She didn’t want to remember her own parents. She’d sent them away a long time ago.
Fleur got ready for her visitors and Sarah went to visit Jamie.
“Do you think they’ll make her leave?” she asked him.
“They might.” His eyes were sad. “Do you want her to leave?”
“No. I wish she could stay forever, like you.”
“So do I.”
It wasn’t long before they heard someone approaching. Jamie disappeared up the tree and Sarah waited to see who it was.
“It’s only me.” Fleur sat beside her. “Is Jamie here?”
No sooner had she spoken, than he landed beside them, grinning. “Am I ever anywhere else?” He sat between them with his arms draped across their shoulders. “How did it go with your parents, Fleur?”
“Great... I guess. They’re taking me home tomorrow. Apparently I’m cured. I got a good report from the shrinks.”
Sarah felt like her heart had been ripped out. “Don’t you want to stay and be our friend?”
“Sure, but I have to leave some time.” She smiled at Sarah. “Don’t worry. I’ll visit.”
“But you won’t be here every day.”
“Bummer, eh?”
“Yeah.”
“I can bring great things in for you, though. Would you like that?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t be sad, Sarah. We three will always be friends. Won’t we Jamie?”
“Sure we will.”
Sarah rose and looked down at them for a moment, a loving calm driving the sadness away. “Let’s make it official, then. We’ll make a pact to always be friends.” She stared into Fleur’s eyes. “Do you want to take the sacred oath?”
Fleur scrambled to her feet. “What do I have to do?”
“You have to follow Jamie and I up the tree. You can’t see it from here, but there’s a platform high up in the branches. That’s our secret place. It’s safe up there. We can go up and swear the oath and prick our thumbs to mix our blood. We’ll be blood friends. Do you want to? You can’t just say it. It has to be in your heart.”
Fleur’s smile broadened. “Let’s do it.”
Jamie began to climb and Fleur followed. Sarah watched for a moment, then climbed after them.
When they reached the top fork in the main trunk, they made themselves comfortable on the raft of planks. Sarah moved the heavy roll of tarp out of the way and sat on it so it wouldn’t open to reveal the treasure within. She smiled knowing she’d soon have another treasure to wrap up in there. She took her carving knife from a knot hole and pricked her left thumb with it. Then she handed the knife to Fleur.
Fleur pricked her left thumb and offered the knife to Jamie.
Sarah grabbed it. “Jamie’s already sworn. You and I have to do it.” She took Fleur’s hand and pressed their thumbs together until the bleeding stopped. She placed her right hand over her heart. “I, Sarah, solemnly swear to be your friend forever and to meet you here at our sacred tree.” She smiled at Fleur. “Now you say exactly what I did.”
Fleur placed her hand over her heart and spoke the words.
“Now, close your eyes and hold Jamie’s hands and I’ll make you our special friend forever.”
Fleur closed her eyes.
Sarah grinned.
After Fleur left there was a security lock-down and nobody was able to go outside or anywhere without supervision. The alarm systems were reprogrammed, extra cameras were mounted and even the razor wire around the fence was renewed.
Sarah stared through the common room window and wished she could go out into the garden again. It was lonely up at the big house now. The only one she could really talk to was Napoleon and he’d had few lucid days since Fleur’s departure.
By the time life settled back into its routine of eating, sleeping, therapy and craft activities, Fleur had been gone a whole month. Sarah didn’t mind, though. She had her secret, and her treasure. It was just a pain that she had to wait so long before being allowed to wander around alone again.
She’d even made an effort to get to know the newcomer, Ryan. They’d put him in Fleur’s room. He was handsome, but he was shy. Sarah decided she liked him almost as much as she liked Jamie and Fleur. Perhaps, if Ryan could be trusted, she could introduce him to the others.
That afternoon, while Napoleon fought the Battle of Britain against Attila the Hun, Sarah slipped outside and ran down to the oak tree.
Jamie greeted her with a hug and his usual grin. “Miss me?”
“Of course.” Sarah laughed. “It’s great to have some freedom again.”
Fleur peered around the trunk of the tree.
“When did you get here?” Sarah ran to hug her.
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re all together.”
Sarah looked them up and down. “I’ve decided on new names. You can be Jason,” she said to Jamie. “And you can be Jenny. What do you think?”
“Jason.” Jamie stroked an imaginary beard. “Dignified. I like it. Jason I am.”
“Jenny’s nice,” said Fleur.
Sarah smiled. It was great to have secret friends. The shrinks couldn’t make them leave if they didn’t know about them. No-one could make Jason and Jenny leave. They were hers for as long as the tree concealed the tarp and the treasures that lay hidden within.
For the rest of the afternoon they sat, talked, and laughed. Then Sarah told them about the newcomer, Ryan.
The End
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Rebel Without Claws
Yes, it's sad but true. There's still a bit of rebel in me. Even worse: I'm thoroughly convinced that there will be a bit of a rebel in me right up to the end. Grow old disgracefully is my motto and I intend to stick to it.
I'm thinking about my old motorbike as I write this. It's all fuelled up and ready to go. I love that old bike. It's older than I am, temperamental, hates the rain, has to have the side cover off and oil squirted on everything before each ride, and I spend more time pushing it than riding it, but... yeah! There's nothing like that feeling of riding along a country road, being able to smell the scenery and feel the wind.
There's also the bugs [especially if you have an open face helmet], pot holes in the road and surprised motorists who can't believe what they're seeing...!
I have a 1958 BSA D5 Bantam 175cc. A rare old bird -- like me. There are plenty of Bantams around, but very few D5s ever made it out to Australia. In the 10 years I've been riding mine, I've never seen another one road registered and in fully restored condition.
Now all the classic bike enthusiasts are smiling and nodding. Suddenly it all makes sense: the pushing to make it go in the morning, the cloud of blue smoke, the backfiring and the gear slipping at least three times during each ride.
Yes, classic British bikes. They're all the same. But they have character. I wouldn't swap my little bike for any Harley.
It sulks in the shed all winter and every summer it comes out, gets a good rub down, an oil and off we go.
The only trouble with riding it about town is that it only has 3 gears which makes me have to go too fast and too slow to negotiate some turns without having to drop down the speed and putter around, or race around at a hair-raising speed. Also, it has no modern attachments like indicators. That means I have to ride around with my arm stuck out hoping modern motorists know what that means. Most of them do, but I did come across one younger driver who thought the stop arm signal was a right hand turn signal. Moron! Go back to school and learn your road rules.
All that aside... there's nothing like the smell of two-stroke in the morning.
I'm thinking about my old motorbike as I write this. It's all fuelled up and ready to go. I love that old bike. It's older than I am, temperamental, hates the rain, has to have the side cover off and oil squirted on everything before each ride, and I spend more time pushing it than riding it, but... yeah! There's nothing like that feeling of riding along a country road, being able to smell the scenery and feel the wind.
There's also the bugs [especially if you have an open face helmet], pot holes in the road and surprised motorists who can't believe what they're seeing...!
I have a 1958 BSA D5 Bantam 175cc. A rare old bird -- like me. There are plenty of Bantams around, but very few D5s ever made it out to Australia. In the 10 years I've been riding mine, I've never seen another one road registered and in fully restored condition.
Now all the classic bike enthusiasts are smiling and nodding. Suddenly it all makes sense: the pushing to make it go in the morning, the cloud of blue smoke, the backfiring and the gear slipping at least three times during each ride.
Yes, classic British bikes. They're all the same. But they have character. I wouldn't swap my little bike for any Harley.
It sulks in the shed all winter and every summer it comes out, gets a good rub down, an oil and off we go.
The only trouble with riding it about town is that it only has 3 gears which makes me have to go too fast and too slow to negotiate some turns without having to drop down the speed and putter around, or race around at a hair-raising speed. Also, it has no modern attachments like indicators. That means I have to ride around with my arm stuck out hoping modern motorists know what that means. Most of them do, but I did come across one younger driver who thought the stop arm signal was a right hand turn signal. Moron! Go back to school and learn your road rules.
All that aside... there's nothing like the smell of two-stroke in the morning.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
License Update
I managed to renew my driving license without drama, despite it being overdue. Thank goodness!
Nobody asked any questions at VicRoads. They processed it, I had a new mug shot taken, a few minutes later was given my new plastic license card -- and that was that! All done with no fuss for the next 10 years.
Whew!
I'm so glad I didn't have to do the whole thing again from the start. I would have been made to go for my car license then my motorbike license all over again. The expense of that would have been enormous.
So now I'm really happy. I'm going to crank up the old bike and take her out on the road.
See ya soon...!!
Nobody asked any questions at VicRoads. They processed it, I had a new mug shot taken, a few minutes later was given my new plastic license card -- and that was that! All done with no fuss for the next 10 years.
Whew!
I'm so glad I didn't have to do the whole thing again from the start. I would have been made to go for my car license then my motorbike license all over again. The expense of that would have been enormous.
So now I'm really happy. I'm going to crank up the old bike and take her out on the road.
See ya soon...!!
Strange Dream
Last night I dreamed I was in a shop or restaurant type building. I was making a steak sandwich for my husband, Geoff.
Outside, I saw a man wander up to the window. He was an older man, perhaps in his 60s with blonde hair. Even though I didn’t recognise the man, I knew him as my father. He was wearing a very heavy overcoat over a light coloured shirt and beige trousers.
As I watched, he collapsed onto the pavement. A woman who was passing by ran to his aid.
I raced out of the shop leaving the steak on the grill. The door shut behind me.
Outside, I knelt beside the man whom I knew as my father. I knew him as an alcoholic. His face was lined and old before its time. His clothes were old and dirty. It seemed to me that he’d been gone for a long time.
He was dying, and as I held him he tried to tell me he was sorry and that he loved me, but the words wouldn’t come out. I told him I loved him.
His face changed. It lightened. He looked years younger and the lines disappeared. A wonderful, glowing expression of peace came over him and he died smiling.
I turned to one of the male shop assistants. Again this was not someone I knew. He had followed me out of the shop. I said: “Did you see that? Did you see his face? It changed. Did you see it?” I was very excited and full of the wonder of it all. I’m not sure that the assistant had seen what I’d seen.
I seemed to need someone other than myself to have seen the wonderful transformation in the dying man.
We both looked into the shop and saw that the steak was smoking. I tried to get back inside but the door was locked. I turned to the assistant and said: “I can’t get in. The steak is burning.”
He turned the knob and opened the door. It wasn’t locked. I remember thinking that it was strange that I thought the door was locked. I took the steak off the grill and turned it off. The steak was well done but not burnt. I said to the assistant: “Geoff will have that. He likes it well done.”
Then we both went outside to where a crowd was gathering for the man’s funeral.
The shop turned into a small funeral parlour. It was narrow and dark. There were a lot of people sitting close together on the crowded pews. There was a beautiful coffin on a stand at the alter waiting for the man to be placed in it.
Outside there were many grieving relatives. Most of them were elderly people. I didn’t recognise any of their faces. I tried to tell them not to be so sad, that he died in peace with a smile.
When I looked across at the dead man, relatives were trying to put him into an antique wicker baby’s pram or dolls pram. This disturbed me a little as I thought it was a bit disrespectful, but I said nothing. The dead man was still smiling and his face was peaceful, but the wonderful radiance had gone.
I went back inside and was talking to the relatives. I was very sad for the loss of this man. I comforted one older woman and told her that I was leaving now. I told her that I was with him when he died and I’d said my goodbyes already. I didn’t need to stay for the funeral.
They all looked around and smiled and nodded. They were happy for me to leave.
I left.
That was the end of the dream. Very weird. Very disturbing. This dream is significant in some way, but I can’t quite grasp the meaning of it. I know that dreaming of funerals of people you don’t recognise sometimes means the loss of a relative that you’re not particularly close to, and could mean good luck or an unexpected inheritance. Seeing a coffin in a dream sometimes means good luck as well. I’m not sure if seeing the baby’s pram in the dream means anything at all. It was strange and out of tune with the rest of the dream. It felt wrong to me in the dream but I said nothing. I didn’t appear to have the right to say anything. I seemed to be a part of this dream family, and yet not a part of it. They all knew me and cared about me, but there was a feeling of time, distance… something.
There was such a feeling of sorrow and loss about this dream. It concerns me a bit. The connection and disconnection to the grieving relatives could mean my natural family who I don’t really know all that well. It could also mean my adopted family of which I’m a part and yet not a part of.
My guess is that some relative of mine will die soon. It seems to be an older person. I’m not sure which family this will be from. It could be either.
I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
Outside, I saw a man wander up to the window. He was an older man, perhaps in his 60s with blonde hair. Even though I didn’t recognise the man, I knew him as my father. He was wearing a very heavy overcoat over a light coloured shirt and beige trousers.
As I watched, he collapsed onto the pavement. A woman who was passing by ran to his aid.
I raced out of the shop leaving the steak on the grill. The door shut behind me.
Outside, I knelt beside the man whom I knew as my father. I knew him as an alcoholic. His face was lined and old before its time. His clothes were old and dirty. It seemed to me that he’d been gone for a long time.
He was dying, and as I held him he tried to tell me he was sorry and that he loved me, but the words wouldn’t come out. I told him I loved him.
His face changed. It lightened. He looked years younger and the lines disappeared. A wonderful, glowing expression of peace came over him and he died smiling.
I turned to one of the male shop assistants. Again this was not someone I knew. He had followed me out of the shop. I said: “Did you see that? Did you see his face? It changed. Did you see it?” I was very excited and full of the wonder of it all. I’m not sure that the assistant had seen what I’d seen.
I seemed to need someone other than myself to have seen the wonderful transformation in the dying man.
We both looked into the shop and saw that the steak was smoking. I tried to get back inside but the door was locked. I turned to the assistant and said: “I can’t get in. The steak is burning.”
He turned the knob and opened the door. It wasn’t locked. I remember thinking that it was strange that I thought the door was locked. I took the steak off the grill and turned it off. The steak was well done but not burnt. I said to the assistant: “Geoff will have that. He likes it well done.”
Then we both went outside to where a crowd was gathering for the man’s funeral.
The shop turned into a small funeral parlour. It was narrow and dark. There were a lot of people sitting close together on the crowded pews. There was a beautiful coffin on a stand at the alter waiting for the man to be placed in it.
Outside there were many grieving relatives. Most of them were elderly people. I didn’t recognise any of their faces. I tried to tell them not to be so sad, that he died in peace with a smile.
When I looked across at the dead man, relatives were trying to put him into an antique wicker baby’s pram or dolls pram. This disturbed me a little as I thought it was a bit disrespectful, but I said nothing. The dead man was still smiling and his face was peaceful, but the wonderful radiance had gone.
I went back inside and was talking to the relatives. I was very sad for the loss of this man. I comforted one older woman and told her that I was leaving now. I told her that I was with him when he died and I’d said my goodbyes already. I didn’t need to stay for the funeral.
They all looked around and smiled and nodded. They were happy for me to leave.
I left.
That was the end of the dream. Very weird. Very disturbing. This dream is significant in some way, but I can’t quite grasp the meaning of it. I know that dreaming of funerals of people you don’t recognise sometimes means the loss of a relative that you’re not particularly close to, and could mean good luck or an unexpected inheritance. Seeing a coffin in a dream sometimes means good luck as well. I’m not sure if seeing the baby’s pram in the dream means anything at all. It was strange and out of tune with the rest of the dream. It felt wrong to me in the dream but I said nothing. I didn’t appear to have the right to say anything. I seemed to be a part of this dream family, and yet not a part of it. They all knew me and cared about me, but there was a feeling of time, distance… something.
There was such a feeling of sorrow and loss about this dream. It concerns me a bit. The connection and disconnection to the grieving relatives could mean my natural family who I don’t really know all that well. It could also mean my adopted family of which I’m a part and yet not a part of.
My guess is that some relative of mine will die soon. It seems to be an older person. I’m not sure which family this will be from. It could be either.
I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Licence Woes
Yesterday [Friday] I received my driver licence renewal notice. Unfortunately, to my horror, I discovered that it is a month too late. My licence expired a month ago.
As I renew my licence every 10 years, I need a little reminder when it gets near the time for renewal. Usually, VicRoads sends out a notice about a month before your licence is due, to let you know.
How come I didn’t get one? How come my “due notice” is a month late?
Now I have to wait until Monday to see if I can just renew it, or whether I have to go right through the whole process again.
This is such a nuisance and I’m so angry.
Had I been pulled over by the police for a spot licence check, I could have ended up in court and with a hefty fine for driving unlicenced. Grrrrrrrr!
Did they send a notice and good old Australia Post lost it? Or did VicRoads stuff up?
Unfortunately for me I now have to spend the entire weekend worrying about it.
Thanks ever so much!
As I renew my licence every 10 years, I need a little reminder when it gets near the time for renewal. Usually, VicRoads sends out a notice about a month before your licence is due, to let you know.
How come I didn’t get one? How come my “due notice” is a month late?
Now I have to wait until Monday to see if I can just renew it, or whether I have to go right through the whole process again.
This is such a nuisance and I’m so angry.
Had I been pulled over by the police for a spot licence check, I could have ended up in court and with a hefty fine for driving unlicenced. Grrrrrrrr!
Did they send a notice and good old Australia Post lost it? Or did VicRoads stuff up?
Unfortunately for me I now have to spend the entire weekend worrying about it.
Thanks ever so much!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Tradesmen!
Enough is enough!
I'm actually a tradesman myself. Yes tradesMAN, not WOMAN or PERSON. I completed my apprenticeship with the printing industry before political correctness took hold. So... I'm a tradesman and proud of it.
But I certainly never treated customers the way the young electrician treated me yesterday. It was considered, way back in the old days, that common courtesy was the rule not the exception.
The electricians came to wire up our new [second hand] airconditioner.
The electrician in charge, a nice looking, rather tall young man, bitched, moaned, complained and derided absolutely everything about our "old" airconditioner, our "old" house, the "old" wiring [which was completely rewired when we first moved in here 6 years ago], and anything and everything he could think of.
He was very derisive and condescending when talking to me - I should say: at me. There was no respect or consideration at all in his manner. Even less did I appreciate the snide comments he was making to his young apprentice [a very nice young man] when he thought I was out of earshot.
I went out of my way to provide everything they needed, including a big umbrella when he was working on the roof. No, I'm not joking. We went through every umbrella in the place until we found one he deigned to work under.
After they'd finished, he sneeringly informed me that the airconditioner probably would only work for a couple of weeks anyway because it was so old.
Now, I am very blonde [naturally], and yes, I am a woman... BUT...!!!!!
The entire afternoon was horrendous! And after all that, Geoff had to spend two hours on the roof, after he got home from work, fixing the airconditioner so it wouldn't short out and burn the house down.
They hadn't connected the water properly. It was spraying down over the electric components of the motor. In fact, they hadn't turned the water on at all. When Geoff turned it on, the "on/off" lever was in such a position as to almost cut through the electric wiring.
What is the matter with these people? They are being paid good money to do these jobs. It shouldn't matter whether they have to wire up a brand new appliance or an old one. It shouldn't matter whether the house is old or new and it certainly shouldn't matter what sex the customer is.
If I'd been an elderly woman living alone and had nobody to check their work, I could have found my house burnt down around me the next day.
Oh yeah, you bet I'll have a word or two to their boss!
But the point is... I shouldn't have to!
I'm actually a tradesman myself. Yes tradesMAN, not WOMAN or PERSON. I completed my apprenticeship with the printing industry before political correctness took hold. So... I'm a tradesman and proud of it.
But I certainly never treated customers the way the young electrician treated me yesterday. It was considered, way back in the old days, that common courtesy was the rule not the exception.
The electricians came to wire up our new [second hand] airconditioner.
The electrician in charge, a nice looking, rather tall young man, bitched, moaned, complained and derided absolutely everything about our "old" airconditioner, our "old" house, the "old" wiring [which was completely rewired when we first moved in here 6 years ago], and anything and everything he could think of.
He was very derisive and condescending when talking to me - I should say: at me. There was no respect or consideration at all in his manner. Even less did I appreciate the snide comments he was making to his young apprentice [a very nice young man] when he thought I was out of earshot.
I went out of my way to provide everything they needed, including a big umbrella when he was working on the roof. No, I'm not joking. We went through every umbrella in the place until we found one he deigned to work under.
After they'd finished, he sneeringly informed me that the airconditioner probably would only work for a couple of weeks anyway because it was so old.
Now, I am very blonde [naturally], and yes, I am a woman... BUT...!!!!!
The entire afternoon was horrendous! And after all that, Geoff had to spend two hours on the roof, after he got home from work, fixing the airconditioner so it wouldn't short out and burn the house down.
They hadn't connected the water properly. It was spraying down over the electric components of the motor. In fact, they hadn't turned the water on at all. When Geoff turned it on, the "on/off" lever was in such a position as to almost cut through the electric wiring.
What is the matter with these people? They are being paid good money to do these jobs. It shouldn't matter whether they have to wire up a brand new appliance or an old one. It shouldn't matter whether the house is old or new and it certainly shouldn't matter what sex the customer is.
If I'd been an elderly woman living alone and had nobody to check their work, I could have found my house burnt down around me the next day.
Oh yeah, you bet I'll have a word or two to their boss!
But the point is... I shouldn't have to!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Already Gone
I wake to late afternoon sun; there should be moonlight.
Outside, the air is still and warm but the leaves have turned gold.
As in a dream I walk around - looking at things, touching things,
and gradually, I come to know that I’m not really here.
The house feels empty and silent.
The things that I love and use, are all here.
The chairs, the table, the lamps, the incomplete tapestry in the corner.
All stand as though waiting for me to pick them up.
Everything looks exactly the same, but everything feels different.
There is a smell of age, of dust, of sadness.
Slowly I wander, remembering the springs and summers of my time.
Somebody still lives here; I feel the emptiness in him as well.
And yet there is peace here. It emanates from everywhere and makes me smile.
I wonder if he smiles any more.
Does he remember what it was like when I was here?
All is as if I am still here.
But I am already gone.
Brittany Kingston
© Monday, January 30, 2006
Outside, the air is still and warm but the leaves have turned gold.
As in a dream I walk around - looking at things, touching things,
and gradually, I come to know that I’m not really here.
The house feels empty and silent.
The things that I love and use, are all here.
The chairs, the table, the lamps, the incomplete tapestry in the corner.
All stand as though waiting for me to pick them up.
Everything looks exactly the same, but everything feels different.
There is a smell of age, of dust, of sadness.
Slowly I wander, remembering the springs and summers of my time.
Somebody still lives here; I feel the emptiness in him as well.
And yet there is peace here. It emanates from everywhere and makes me smile.
I wonder if he smiles any more.
Does he remember what it was like when I was here?
All is as if I am still here.
But I am already gone.
Brittany Kingston
© Monday, January 30, 2006
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