Goodbye Rusty

Sad, sad weekend.

On Saturday, Rusty, my brown kelpie, ran out on the road and was killed.

Rusty was one of those special spirits that come along so few times in life. I found him at the local RSPCA shelter. I looked into his eyes and recognised him instantly. He was Jock. My black kelpie x dingo who died quite a few years ago. I knew him and he knew me -- though he didn't really understand why he thought he knew me.

I brought Rusty home. It was obvious he'd been very badly treated during his short life. He was only about 8 months old then. During the ten months he was with us, he blossomed into a wonderful, gentle spirit, full of confidence, joy and love.

Just when he was becoming himself again, he was snatched away. Why?

I always thought I had unfinished business with Jock. He was just becoming who he really was when he died.

I think, perhaps, Rusty was the unfinished business. Somewhere along the line, between his life as Jock and one or two other lives until Rusty, I think he lost himself. He came back "home" to find his true self.

Why do I keep doing this? I join my spirit with these animals and then I'm devastated when they leave. I guess that's just me. I can't do it any other way.

In a way, those special spirits haven't really left me. Bandit, my soul mate, the one who taught me everything he could about "real" communication with animals, is now one of my spirit guides. Bandit is the domestic dog link. Jock is another guide who has stayed with me. He is the wolf, the link to the wild. Another little spirit guide who stays in my background is Tess. Little old Tess who wasn't with us long either. She was another pound refugee and a gentle spirit.

It's nice to know they're still there. But I'm just so very sad that I can't reach out and hug them.

For my other little friends who are not spirit guides, but are living other lives, helping people and learning lessons, I look forward to seeing you again too. Blue the cattle dog, Merlin the Russian Blue cat, Nikki the Burmese x. I hope our paths cross again sometime.

All I can say is, they all knew love and happiness while they were with me. I hope I helped them in some small way, as they helped me, and continue to do so.

Goodbye Rusty. Be all that you were meant to be.

I'll see you again. That much I do know for sure.