The Friends That Only...

It's nice when friends call out of the blue and want to catch up for a coffee. I'm always open to that.

This morning a friend I don't see very often called and asked if I'd be home some time today for a cuppa. I said, "Of course. I'd be delighted."

Now, all I can think about is, "what does she really want?"

That's awful. I know. But...

There are some people who are like that. They only contact you when there's something in it for them.

So what do I do about it? I like this friend. We used to hang out together all the time. We shared our thoughts, hopes, dreams... all that. Now, I see her very rarely, and most of the time it's when her computer is down and she needs to check her emails, send a fax, or needs a favour.

Don't get me wrong. I'll always drop everything for a friend in genuine need. However, I don't like being taken advantage of.

I find it sad that some people consider it okay to use friends in this manner. I don't use people. I go out of my way to avoid it, in fact. If I want a favour, I ask. I'll always find a way to show my appreciation and gratitude - in the form a small gift, card, cuppa up the street, something. I prefer to think that most people are like that. I don't ask for favours very often. I tend to struggle through on my own. One of my many failings, I'm afraid.

I'm also not opposed to friends ringing me and asking me for favours. What I don't like is friends ringing me to "catch up for a cuppa" then, when the niceties are over, hit me with, "oh, while I'm here...," "can I just...". Hmmm. Wears a bit thin after a while. I'd rather people be up front from the beginning and come right out and say, "I'm ringing to see if I can ask you a favour."

[Insert sigh here]

Oh well. I guess I'll find out what she wants after she has partaken of my hospitality.

Sad when it gets to this, isn't it.

I still like this friend, and I still enjoy catching up with her, even though it's usually to her benefit. It all comes down to accepting people for who they are, really. This how this friend is. If I want to associate with her, I have to realise this and accept it.

I deal with it by either not being available for a cuppa unless it's up the street somewhere, or I invite her out with full knowledge that there will be a catch.

I wonder what it will be today?

Cheers

Brittany K.