Reunion Lunch

Kaye and I survived our reunion lunch.

It was a little easier to talk to people out in the garden area of the North Eastern Hotel as we were seated around a large table. We chatted in a less formal way which I found easier. We were all able to join in the conversation and nobody was left out. Photos were taken and there were a lot of laughs.

There were two long tables set up inside for the meal and we all made our way in there and took a seat at random. The "in" crowd, was still there though, and little groups of people gravitated towards 'like souls'.

Kaye and I made a point of joining the "in" crowd and talking to them. During the meal, however, the conversation quite naturally divided into the "in" and "out" halves of the table again. It seemed to be a natural choice for people to "tune in" to the conversations that interested them most, or the ones they could relate to easiest.

We talked long into the afternoon. Long past what we each thought would be possible. What should have been a couple of hours turned into about five hours, then we all said goodbye and drifted back to where we all came from.

All in all, an interesting afternoon.

Kaye and I retured to Glenloth to analyse our experience and add our own visions to each other's memories of the past and the present.

It's funny what sticks in your mind, and what doesn't. I was surprised to find myself catching up with people I had completely forgotten I went to school with, until I saw them again.

Apart from the odd uncomfortable moments, caused by stepping outside of my comfort zone and taking a chance on people I barely remembered, I quite enjoyed the experience.
They're planning a 40th year reunion in six years time.

I've already decided to go along, if I'm still around then.

I'm glad I took that chance and made the first step towards getting to know the people I didn't really get to know all those years ago.

Perhaps I have grown up after all. Perhaps I have moved on.

THE REUNION

Yesterday I went along to the reunion with very mixed feelings.

Would I know anyone, recognise anyone, have anything to talk to them about?

Yes, yes and no.

So there you have it.

I walked into the school hall and 'signed in'. I immediately saw some people I recognised and went over to join them. There were many people there of whom I had no memory at all. I kind of expected that.

I smiled and nodded politely to the ones I did recognise. We exchanged the obligatory "Hi. How are you? Nice to see you again." Then drifted apart.

There they all were, talking, laughing, standing in groups - the same groups they used to stand in over 35 years ago.

And there was I. Standing on the outside wishing I could join in - the same way I used to over 35 years ago.

Another 'outsider' friend and I drifted together like magnets and stuck there for as long as we both could take it. Our smiles became forced and eventually we walked out and came back here for a cuppa.

Depressed.

Yes, it was depressing. Depressing and pathetic in an odd sort of way. The "in" crowd was still "in", and the "outsiders" were still "out".

Why couldn't I join in? What stopped me from walking up to the groups, being cheerful and just talking with them?

Maybe I simply didn't have anything in common with them. Maybe that's what it was all along. I was too different. I could see right through the thin veneer of social status and popularity to the real beings beneath.

But we were all just kids then. We were finding our feet and learning to make our way in the world.

My way wasn't their way. Still isn't.

I write science fiction. I use earth energy to heal animals and sooth the souls of people who bring tragedy with them into this lifetime from a past life. I can see auras. I look at the world through a shimmering rainbow of colour and energy.

What do they see when they see me?

It's not that I don't want to get to know these people. We all shared a common experience - the dreaded school years. It shouldn't be that hard for me to make the first move.

But it is. The barrier that prevented me from joining in with them all those years ago, is still there.

I am different. And I have moved on.

I remember all too well the pain, loneliness, heartache, the longing to belong, wishing I had one true friend to cling to... Yes, I remember all that. It makes me sad when I think back to that poor, skinny misfit of years ago with shockingly bad skin. I wish that I could have gone back in time and said to the then me: "See us now! Look how nice our skin turns out. See how rich and wonderful life can be. We have a future, you and I. A very different one from these people."

Ah, but now we're talking science fiction... and wishful thinking. The dreaded baptism of fire that our lives seem to have to be to create the people we are is our initiation, our trial, our humble beginnings.

We learn from that, and we move on... if we're lucky... if we're strong enough... if we simply hang on long enough.

Well, today I have to face some of them again.

Kaye, one lasting friend from those times, my soul-sister and kindred spirit, is joining me today and we're going to be big and brave and go out to lunch with these people.

Will I at last be able to sit down with some of these people and show them who I really am?

That remains to be seen.

Easter 2006

Well, here we are again.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY.

I'm spending some quality time alone this Easter and really enjoying it. So far I haven't gotten much achieved in the way of writing and painting, but maybe today I'll get a bit of a chance.
I'm heading on over to my old school today for a reunion. There's a bit of a display set up in the hall. If I meet up with anyone I want to spend some time with, I'll go the reunion dinner tonight. Otherwise, another friend and I are going to the luncheon tomorrow.

I'll let you know how that goes.

For now... back to The Shadow Runners. As I recall, I left them at a really exciting time right near the end of the book. I'd better go rescue them.

Catch ya later dudes!

Boring Stuff

Boring old GST today. The all too necessary evil of running a business. I wish I could get enthusiastic about it all, but I can't. It just makes me feel dull and depressed, and at times, downright angry.

Not only do I have my son's GST to do, but I have the Glenloth Pastoral GST to finish. It's all too boring and tedious for this creative mind.

It seems to drain my energy to be forced to think about finances and taxes. I'd much rather be contemplating what Khylarr and Tzahn are up to and what dastardly prank Vaddin is cooking up in his devious duarnian mind.

Sounds like fun to me... but... finances it has to be. Don't get me wrong, it's not all that complicated. It just seems to be such an arduous task and a monumental waste of a good imagination.

Ah well... blogging away here is not getting the work done, and the sooner I complete that nasty little chore, the sooner I can get back to the reality of fiction.

I'll see you on the other side.

Blogging On Again

Well, here I am, blogging on again.

I couldn’t resist the temptation to start another blog when I was invited to join BigBlog. So... now I have two blogs. Obviously I have too much time on my hands. Or... I’m a compulsive blogger.

It’s a miserable, cold autumn day here at Glenloth. It isn’t raining, but it might as well be.

All the animals are curled up sleeping. Not a bad idea. Dixi the cat is on top of the bird cage; Rambo the cat is in the lounge curled up on a chair; Pippin the dog is curled up in his bed; Tiger the working dog is sprawled out on the back verandah; Mintie the peach face parrot is taking no notice of Dixi above and has his face tucked under his wing; Sprite the sparrow has her face tucked under her wing as well; the cattle are laying around on the ground under a tree; even Oscar the fish is floating lazily about.

I’m the only silly one here doing any work.

I’ve been busy today setting up my official author’s web site: “Inside the Author’s Mind” at Geocities.

It’s not as easy as it looks. Even with wizards, etc., I still had no end of trouble getting started. No wonder people pay others to do it for them. It’s a slow, frustrating business when you don’t know what you’re doing.

Eventually, though, I did manage to get it started and it’s beginning to look like a real web site. It will be a work in progress for quite some time I fear, but now it’s up and running, I can start to have some fun with it.

Right now, I think I’ll go make another cuppa and contemplate how I’m going to annoy my characters in my science fiction novel “The Refugees”. Sounds like fun to me...

See you soon.

Why do I need another blog?

I just created another blog at bigpond.

Why do I need another blog when I have trouble keeping up with this one?

I'm a compulsive blogger, writer, editor... that's why. I can't help myself. Do you want a free blog? they asked. Of course! Doesn't everybody?

Everyone should know by now that you don't give a writer an opportunity to put anything into writing. They'll take it.

Want to give us an opinion? - Yeah, sure.

Want to tell us about yourself? - Isn't that my favorite topic of conversation?

People beware!

If you give any writer half a chance to write... they'll take it use it run with it have fun with it can't stop it keep on with it never shut up. Yep, you bet.

And now I have two blogs!

Cyclone

Cyclone

As I sit here on a bright, clear, beautiful morning in the north east of Victoria, cyclone Larry is raging up north.

My thoughts are with everybody all the way from Townsville to Cairns and surrounding areas. And with all the people who live on the islands along the coast.

It’s so frightening to be caught at the mercy of good old Mother Nature. So hard for many people to imagine the force and ferocity this old earth can unleash at times.

When we were getting ready to fight the fires that surrounded us on New Year’s Day this year, we had a taste of what it’s like. You do everything you can, and then you sit and wait for the worst to hit. You don’t “fight” these things. You ride them out. You survive.

Many people asked me afterwards if I had this item or that packed up and ready to go.

The answer was no.

The important things are what you think about. Life. Saving ourselves and the animals we love. That’s all we thought about — do what we can for our house and belongings, but preserve life above all.

It was only after the danger passed that I thought of all the silly little things I would have lost that mean so much to me. Like photographs and mementos. But we would have been alive, and so would our animal friends. Possessions are only things after all.

Hurricanes are not like fires or floods. The noise is what haunts you.

The noise of a hurricane bearing down is indescribable, relentless. It rages on and on and on. Then there’s the eerie quiet at the eye of the storm. We use words such as eerie, spooky, weird, but there’s no real way of describing that either. It’s more than just “eerie”. It’s ominous, dangerous… You know the horror is about to begin again. It’s like a cruel glimpse of normality amid the destruction. Like nature is saying: “This is what it was like yesterday, what it will be like tomorrow, but today I’m angry. Today I’m showing you how small and insignificant you really are compared to me.”

Today, I’ll look up at a perfect sky of blue and enjoy a perfect day of 29 degrees Celsius. I’ll walk around my farm and enjoy the sounds of birds, cattle, dogs, my footsteps swishing through the grass.

Today, I’ll spare a thought, a prayer, a tear of sorrow and a heartfelt hope for strength, endurance, and a great deal of old fashioned luck, for all those riding out the fury of Larry and the cyclone that’s following close behind him.

WHY


Why does love not
die and bleed away
when hearts break
and tears fall?

Why does life not
end when sorrow
drowns the spirit
and hope dies?

Why does the memory
of pain live on to bring
suffering to those who
would prefer to forget?


Brittany Kingston
© March 14, 2006

February Sunrise over Glenloth 

February Sunrise over our Lagoon