End of the Radiation

These past few days have certainly shown me that I am definitely resilient.

I've finally gotten to the end of my radiation treatment. It was a bit of an anticlimax to be honest. I'd made such a positive, and at times social, occasion out of having to travel an hour each day to another town for my treatment, that in some ways I was actually sorry that I no longer needed to travel there any more.

However, the treatment has really kicked in now and my leg is in a terrible state. It is all burned from the inside out. The scars from my various cancer operations have turned into pork crackling and have actually opened up. So, with weeping, open sores, tight, swollen skin and a leg that won't work, I'm in a sorry state physically.

I certainly have plenty to complain about, or even cry about, if I felt so inclined. I'm actually a bit annoyed with myself for agreeing to have this treatment as a preventative. In the end, nobody could give me a definitive answer to the question of whether this would actually prevent more cancer or not. I decided it was probably worth a go. Now that the pain is at its worst, I'm inclined to kick my own butt over that decision.

But...

I'm not going there. I'm sitting here journaling, editing, and even getting some of my own writing done. I'm enjoying watching the transition from autumn to spring and soaking in all that wonderful, joyous, manic, spring energy. I'm counting my blessings and looking back on the past year and a half as one incredible learning experience.

I could never have foreseen that I would go through so much within a year or so, see so many wonderful new medical advances, meet so many truly wonderful and inspiring people, and learn so much about myself and others.

This experience is nearly over. I'm at the other end of the tunnel and the bright light is shining its way for me to step into. Wow! What a ride this has been. It's not something I ever want to do again, thanks very much, but I am so much more enlightened than I was before.

All I can do is thank God and the universe for all this learning and the opportunity to come out the other side - as I will - relatively unscathed.

And... I'm certain that without my experience with YOU University and Maia as a guide, I'd never have learned so much from those experiences. Life sure is a wonderful teacher, but if you don't know how to look upon all those nasty things that happen to you, and if you don't know how to see yourself grow throughout those things and know that you needed them in order to grow, then you won't ever find the true joy of being.

I have found my own joy of being. It's simple and complicated, just as I am. And, whilst at this very moment I might willingly swap a leg with you, I'd never swap lives. If I had to define one thing about my life that I've learned through all my heartache and pain, it would be that I have been lifted up high so I can look down upon my life and see its worth.

Now that's a precious gift.