Profound Thoughts

Profound Thoughts

for a Wednesday Morning

I was just thinking about the time before I was born into this lifetime and wondering what sort of conversations I had with those souls around me when I asked them to play certain roles in this coming life in order help me learn the lessons I needed to learn from physically living this life.

The veil of forgetfulness that covers our past lives and our spiritual lives does not lift just because you're aware that it is there. It is there for a good reason - so we can make the most of our physical lives and learn all that we can from each life we lead.

So...thinking back to that time before I'd finally made the decision to actually live this life physically, I wonder how I asked someone to play the role of my psychopathic adopted mother?

If you think about this for a moment in terms of actors playing a part, not just anyone can play a twisted role like that. It is highly specialized. If you want an example of great psychopathic acting, look at Heath Ledger as the Joker. Yikes!

Seriously, though, for a soul to inhabit an entire physical lifetime in which they are trapped inside a psychopathic mind - it's a big ask. It would take a very strong, very loving and giving soul to put themselves into such a position just to teach a few other souls a lesson they needed.

This puts me in awe of the role my adopted mother played in my life. I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to agree to spend almost 100 years trapped in a physical body with a demented mind. It's almost unthinkable to me. That's a huge sacrifice. A huge gift.

The lessons I learnt were unique. I know there are many people like me who grew up with one or both parents as psychopaths. You can't help but learn from that. You learn from it and grow strong, or you are broken by it. I wonder how many people are broken by it?

Now that I have released my adopted mother from the need to play the role of the psychopath to my victim role, I wonder if that is why dementia is setting in on her so swiftly? When I come to think of it, at the time of my absolute acceptance of her role and my forgiveness of her as a person, dementia began to creep in to her daily life in very noticeable ways. Is the physical energy of a lifetime of twisted thinking and constant planning of nastiness too much to bear when her time for playing that role is over?

If that is the case, then the more advanced her dementia becomes, the more of a blessing for her it will be.

Looking back on my life in this way puts a whole new perspective on it. I can't help but be humbled by the sacrifices and roles different people have played for me to reach a certain level of enlightenment in this lifetime. Yes, I know it would be a lot more complicated than that. They would also be learning lessons for themselves as well as teaching lessons to others. But just to think about something like that... Awesome!

The love these souls must have for me and others around them to agree to make such a sacrifice...! It's unfathomable, but totally awesome!

That's what my life has been so far - insignificant and ordinary, but awesome! I can't wait to see what the next phase of my life will bring. Or... as I should say: I can't wait to bring the next phase of my life into being.

Yeah! Now that's awesome!